Planting our Garden..... Finally!!

Today was one of the most perfect days I have enjoyed all year! The weather was awesome and Matt had the day off so we spent the entire day outside working in our garden and flowerbeds. Our neighbor gave us some extra flowers she didn't need and Matt grabbed a few more from the store and we finally have a flowerbed that I don't cringe at every time I walk past it. It feels so good to be feeling so good as well. I finally feel like I have my strength back and it really feels great to be stiff and sore from a hard days work! I am even enjoying the little bit of a sunburn I got today too! We brought out the sprinkler to water the flowers and the front lawn and it only took about 1/2 a second before the girls were outside with their swimming suits on. Matt made a retaining wall last night for our garden so we could make it a bit more level. It sloped down toward the fence and with the extra height we can actually get to the back corner without falling down! Matt planted everything this afternoon except for the potatoes, those should be going in tomorrow. I was able to rake all the dead leaves from the back yard that didn't get raked up last fall and even the back yard is starting to look a little better! We really need to mow the lawn (Matt will probably do that tomorrow), but it was quite funny to watch Sarah crawl through the tall grass today - it looked like she was in a jungle! All in all - it was an awesome day. The only downside is that the battery in my camera is dead and I can't find the charger! Maybe that will be my project tomorrow - finding the charger. I can almost bet that my muscles will be complaining just a bit more tomorrow!!

"Duck" Tape

This morning Anna wanted me to read her library book that was due back at school today. There was a strip of duct tape holding the book together since it was quite an old and tattered book and this is how our conversation went:

Anna: Look Mom, duck tape!
Mom: Yes, it is holding the book together.
Anna: How do you make duck tape?
Mom: I don't know.
Anna: Do they just take a duck and make it sticky and then roll it out flat?

Try and keep a straight face after hearing that!!

Can you hear me now???

A little while ago I had my kids at the doctor's office to check their ears - again - (what else is new??) and my family doctor thought that Grace's adenoids were looking a little big. So she referred us to a ENT (ear, nose, throat) specialist to have them checked out. Today was the appointment - I had to have all 4 girls up, dressed and fed, and out the door by 8am so we could get to the University Hospital by 9am. I don't usually have to drive in rush hour traffic, so the girls were wondering why it took 45 minutes to go 15km - and honestly, so was I. We found a parking spot in the already crowded 5 level parkade and made our way into the hospital to try and find the right area we needed to be in. After 2 wrong stops, we finally made it - and we were only 4 minutes late!! The nurse was great and took a history and then sent Grace for a hearing test. After making our way over there, having the test done and making our way back, we finally saw the doctor. He was quite surprised at the size of Grace's adenoids and at the "significant hearing loss" that she apparently has right now. She just had another ear infection about 3 weeks ago and there is still a lot of fluid buildup, so that explains some of it, but the doctor was still concerned. Grace will be having surgery sometime this summer (or whenever they book us in) to have tubes put in her ears, her adenoids removed and possibly her tonsils removed as well. It will just be a day surgery (very different from the 3 day hospital stay I had when I had my tonsils out) and hopefully this will help with her hearing and ear infections. I am wondering if life will ever slow down and I am coming to realize that it probably won't. Oh well, ready or not, bring it on!

Life Lessons

Life has a way of tipping you upside-down sometimes. It's not like I have never had this happen before, so I am not quite sure why it always takes me by surprise. Every once in a while I just have a bad day and the adversary loves to take advantage of that and fill my head with all sorts of negative thoughts and feelings. I know how to combat this, I have done it many many times. What I don't know is, why does it take me so long to do it! I don't know why I have to wallow in self-pity and blow things out of proportion, but I guess I am only human and the only thing I can do about that is to try and learn something new. Yesterday was one of those days when I just couldn't seem to shake the negative and look for the positive. I was feeling a little down on myself and let myself indulge in some thoughts and feelings that probably were a little justified, but not as bad as I let myself think they were.

I am feeling much better than I was, but I am still not quite myself yet and I am having a hard time not being able to do everything I have been used to doing - - BUT, my health WILL continue to improve and I WILL be able to do everything again, just not today. I am trying to learn patience!

I have been feeling somewhat guilty that I have sent my son to live with my sister for the rest of the school year and wondering why I could not be everything my son needed - - BUT, from everything I have heard, he is doing GREAT!! I am so grateful for family and the willingness they have to help. I am learning that I don't have to be everything and that asking for help is OK!

I am also feeling a little sad that I will be released from my calling as Primary President this Sunday (shhhh, don't tell anyone yet!). I have been in that calling for 3 years and I will really miss working with the children - - BUT, the things I have learned and everything I have experienced there have been an awesome TESTIMONY BUILDER! I know that my time there is done and that it is time for another wonderful person have the opportunity to learn and grow like I have done.

So, I guess life is not that bad after all. I have an amazing husband, 5 great kids, and healthy baby on the way, a home to live in, food to eat, phenomenal parents and siblings and extended family, and a firm testimony that my Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to be happy. I also firmly believe in the ministering of angels and I am grateful for a mother who listens to those promptings and acts on them. (Thanks again MOM).

So for today, I plan to be - - HAPPY!! (It makes life a whole lot funner that way!)

Life goes on....

I have been home from the hospital now for a week and I can't figure out if life is in pause or fast forward. It has been three weeks since I got sick and it just seems like one big blur, but at the same time having so many days that have been so similar - they seem to drag by too. I am feeling better and better every day. My ward has continued to be amazingly supportive and I haven't cooked a meal for what seems like forever. Matt is still the most amazing husband ever - he is always there to take the laundry downstairs, waking up and feeding the kids breakfast, cleaning, cooking, running errands, taking the kids out to the park, etc, etc, etc. Last night we made a last minute decision to go to the temple. It was amazing how quickly things worked out. Brendan left for cadets at 5:30, we had dinner, decided we should go to the temple, called for a babysitter at 6:00 - thank goodness she was available, called to make sure there was room for us in the session, quickly got ready and were out the door by 6:30. The session started at 7:30 and we had 1/2 an hour to sit and enjoy the spirit there. I was quite tired afterward, but the blessings of peace and comfort were well worth it. I love the feelings I get when I go to the temple and it was especially nice after it has been such a difficult few weeks for us. Parenting is not the easiest job I have ever had and I am always grateful for any extra help and inspiration I can get. There was one quote that I heard at the Time Out for Women conference that has stuck in my head. "When you come to the end of a dark road and are staring out into a black abyss of nothing, just take that step of faith and you will either find solid ground to walk on, or you will be taught to fly." I know it is not word perfect, but it still means something to me. So, here comes that step of faith. I don't know if I will be flying or walking, but either way, everything will be ok.

There's no place like home.......

After being separated from my husband and kids for the last 10 days - there is definitely NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!! The whole thing started on Friday, April 17. We had 4 extra kids in our home for the weekend - which was fine. I really don't have a problem with extras - they just play with each other and have a lot of fun. There is just a bit of extra cooking and cleaning to do, but kids are great helpers too. Matt was off for the entire weekend too, so I really was not too stressed out about it. Around noon on Friday I started getting a bit of a fever and a headache and so I took some Tylenol and didn't think much of it. On Saturday this continued and I actually spent most of Saturday evening in bed while Matt made supper and cleaned up after 9 kids. I really didn't want to go to church on Sunday, but there was a potluck after church and I thought it was an "easy out" for supper, so we packed everybody up and went. This whole weekend I was on Tylenol every 4 hours and continually dealing with going between being boiling hot and totally freezing. By Sunday evening, all our extras had gone home and I told Matt I had better go to the hospital and see if they could do anything for me. I had gotten the flu in March, and I visited the hospital then as well. They gave me an IV and pumped a couple of liters of fluid into me and I felt much better, so I assumed that the same would happen this time. So, off to the hospital I went. I was in quite quickly and they popped in the IV and started the fluids. I really did feel quite a bit better on Monday, but it only lasted until about the early afternoon. Since I was babysitting a couple of little girls - I was glad I made it through the day and was very glad when Matt got home and took over - again! Tuesday was a quiet day - after getting the three oldest off to school, I let Rebecca watch TV all day and I just sat and held Sarah while she napped. By that afternoon though, I did not have the strength to even get up off the chair I was sitting on and had to call Matt and tell him to take the day off on Wednesday because I really needed some help. When Matt got home he and Roger (thank goodness Roger was visiting for a couple of days!) gave me a blessing and took me to the hospital again. They took me in quite quickly and again another IV was put in. This time though, they took an x-ray and found that I had pneumonia in my left lower lobe, right lower lobe and right middle lobe of my lungs. They kept me in the ER for the night and tried to see if I could handle the antibiotics they wanted to try me on - apparently they can cause some nausea. I did ok with them, but in the morning my oxygen levels started to drop, especially when I tried to stand up. So, they brought down a respiratory tech and he did a test called a blood gas where they take blood directly from your artery in your wrist and see how much oxygen is actually in your bloodstream. Well, mine was only at 59% (it should be above 80%), so they found me a bed upstairs and started me on IV antibiotics. And that began my LONG hospital stay. They were quite concerned with the baby, as they wanted to be sure that there was enough oxygen for the both of us, so on Thursday morning they did an ultrasound. It was quite ironic that I actually had my ultrasound booked for that Thursday afternoon, so things went as planned there. The ultrasound tech was training a new student, so they were talking lots and making sure they had everything they needed - it was very interesting seeing all the parts of the brain, heart, stomach, kidneys - you name it! Matt and I have never found out what we were having and really preferred to keep it a surprise, but I guess being sick and not totally being myself I had a momentary lapse in brain function and asked if they could tell if it was a boy or a girl. I don't think I really expected an answer quite so quickly - I thought they would have to look around a bit - but the tech quickly told me that we are having a BOY!! I was a little shocked and had to ask again, but he was quite certain - the only thing I was a little sad about was that Matt wasn't there to share the moment with me. I do think that he is a little bit excited though! The ultrasound was absolutely normal and our little one seems no worse for the wear even though his mom wasn't doing so hot at the time. Throughout the rest of the weekend I started to feel better and was itching to get home. I really thought that by the following Tuesday (my birthday) I would be home, but they couldn't keep my oxygen levels up. They did another blood gas on Wednesday and it had only risen to 62%, so the next morning they did an ultrasound on my leg to see if I had a blood clot - nope, nothing. Then they wanted to do a VQ scan that afternoon, but the radiologist said it wouldn't show anything but the pneumonia and wouldn't do it. Then - to be sure there wasn't a blood clot in my lungs - they did a CAT scan on Thursday afternoon. The results were absolutely normal as well, so apparently I just have a really nasty pneumonia that is refusing to go away and let my lungs function properly. The doctors wanted to keep me in the hospital until I was better (it had already been 10 days - how much longer was this going to take!), but I really said I wanted to go home. I really missed my husband and my kids!!! They tested my blood gas again - still 62% and not high enough for the baby, BUT apparently not low enough to qualify for government funding for an oxygen tank at home. So, we footed the bill and rented the tank ourselves and I am HOME!! It felt so good to sleep in my own bed next to my awesome husband with no lights going on and off, no alarm bells ringing and no nurses coming to say "we need to check your blood pressure again!". I am so deeply grateful for everybody that has brought in meals, cleaned my house, helped take care of my kids, etc, etc, etc. Matt has done an amazing job being both Mom and Dad for the last 2 weeks and I am so totally in love with this amazing man. Granted, he is pretty wiped, but I love him for it. I am totally looking forward to going to Time out for Women with my sisters and Mom today - oxygen tank and wheelchair and all! It feels good to be alive. I don't know why this all happened, but I do know that my faith in my Father in Heaven, my husband, my marriage and my family has been undeniably strengthened because of it. There's always a silver lining - and there is NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!!